My Albatross
by GunjiBunny
Summary: My own version of how everyone reacts when Finn is killed in a car accident. AU where after Babygate Finn and Santana became a couple. Obviously a Fintana story (FinnxSantana). Major character death warning.


**AN – Character death warning ahead, in this story after learning about Puck and Quinn Finn found solace in Santana, not Rachel and they've been dating ever since. Off and on again but he didn't go back to Quinn nor go to Rachel. I own nothing and please support the official release.**

"I'm terribly sorry young man," came the voice from the darkness, which was only because Finn's eyes were closed because he was hoping when they opened again he'd be back home in bed. Slowly opening them to the white clouds that surrounded him he sighed about to try again.

"Son please listen before trying to wish me away." There was no irritation in the man's voice only patience and compassion so Finn did as he was told looking at the elderly man with a long white beard behind a podium. "As I was saying Finn Christopher Hudson it seems that you have arrived home to us a little too early." Like a trigger those words brought back the memories of what had happened before. He was driving to prom with Rachel… no that didn't feel right, not Quinn either she was with Sam.

"Why can't I remember what happened?"

"With violent deaths the mind suppresses it until it feels like you can handle it." There is was what he was avoiding this whole time.

"Violent deaths?" he asked swallowing hard.

"Yes you were on your way to a school function when your car was hit by a drunk driver."

"Wait, someone was with me, where are they?" Could it have been Kurt and Blaine? No that didn't sit right it was only one person and a female.

"They're still alive but barely hanging on."

"Will she join me up here?"

"As long as she doesn't turn from God, but I'm afraid it's not looking good."

"I want to go back."

"What?"

"You said I was going to live a long time, I want to go back for a little more and convince her not to give up." Closing his eyes now the man's smile never faltered, "Looks like someone up here put in a good word for you, you have one week but you're going back as an angel. Almost no one will see you, they can hear you if you whisper but if they learn you're back their memories of you will go away and so will you."

"Thank you sir, thank you.."

"Peter, Saint Peter," Peter said flashing Finn a bright smile as the world around Finn became so bright he had to close his eyes. The honking of a horn caused him to open them as he saw he was at the intersection of Main and Rose. Before he could wonder why he was here he saw that the car had only been moved to the side and not actually removed and it looked horrible. Walking over to it he saw the roof was crushed flat and the steering column was where he had been sitting. The passenger's door was torn open, but that was probably from the paramedics and not the accident. Seeing the corsage on the floor of the car he reached for it only to find his hand going through it. It was true, he was dead. Looking down at himself he wasn't surprised to see himself dressed up as he was when he was heading to Prom, just made sense. Sighing he wondered if he had to walk all the way home in the cold, before realizing that he actually wasn't cold. Closing his eyes the thought of home made him both happy and sad as he thought of his mom excitedly taking pictures of him with his date, whoever it had been was his date, Kurt and Blaine. The sound of broken glass caused his eyes to open quickly and he realized he was home, where the pictures had been taken. Hurrying into the kitchen he saw Blaine kneeling on the floor trying to pick up the bits of a mug. The young man was shaking as tears ran down his face and he picked up the pieces not seeming to notice when one bit at his skin, making himself bleed. Rushing through the counter so he was behind Blaine he knelt behind him wanting nothing more than to hug his friend and to tell him it was fine to feel sad. Over the last few months they had gotten close, as close as a Gleemate slash brother's boyfriend would go and already Blaine had been considered a part of the family in Finn's eyes, a brother in law already. Shifting so he was sitting next to him as he continued to pick at the glass Finn closed his eyes again.

"I remember this one time that you wanted to surprise Kurt for some sort of anniversary of the first time you held hands or something. So I snuck you into his room so he could wake up to breakfast in bed and he was trying a new facial scrub that turned his skin yellow and you both screamed so loud Burt came in wearing his boxers and welding a bat." Opening his eyes at the sound of Blaine chuckling and shaking his head he sighed wiping the tears from his eyes. Standing up he looked at the ceiling.

"Finn, I miss you so much, wherever you are thank you for everything," he said swallowing hard, "I promise to follow your lead and always be there for your brother." Did Blaine hear him or just think he was telling himself a memory? Either way Finn was happy that he helped even a little so with that he went to find Kurt to find him in his bedroom with his mom and Burt. Kurt was on his bed crying and hugging his Leatherman jacket, Carole was next to him stroking his hair while Burt was leaning against the wall shaking his head in anger.

"Any news on the Lopez girl?" Burt asked and then it hit him. Santana in a beautiful red dress that hugged her form and complimented her skin, before he could help Kurt he felt himself falling backwards towards the unknown, towards the past.

Hitting something Finn opened his eyes to see that he was driving the car, his hand resting on the middle counsel when he felt a smaller hand over his. Looking over he saw Santana actually smiling at him and he felt happy as well. The light was green and he kept going but out of the corner of his eye he saw the blur of the truck racing towards them and he kept his eyes on her. He hadn't said that he loved her yet, that was going to be tonight even if she and Brittney won Prom King and Queen. Going to tell her that he wanted to be her only and forever. Although he couldn't feel it he saw himself as the truck slammed into them going eighty, the scene slowed down as he saw the wheel move closer to him, there was a bang as Santana's airbag deployed and Finn's was broken by the impact. Considering he was dead on impact the airbag seemed trivial but then he remembered that Santana was there, watching him die. The wheel pushed him back, his seatbelt held him face breaking his neck. The car flipped a few times before landing on the roof and sliding a few more feet before stopping. There was silence for a long time until he heard the ambulance but by them he couldn't stand to see her broken like that so he closed his eyes and felt himself shift again.

Opening his eyes he found himself in Santana's room, modestly decorated with red everywhere probably because she once told him that red was as close to pink as she'd let herself get. Now her room was lonely without her, it wasn't empty, Brittney was on her bed with Quinn, a solemn Sam sat in a chair in the corner. Stepping towards them he could see that Britt was crying hard, Quinn was as well put kept a strong front for her friend. Dating Quinn for a little over a year Finn had learned her tough face to hide her feelings face. Moving over to the bed he would often lay on with Santana at his side either watching TV or just holding each other, her trying to get rid of her slut label and respecting his not wanting to jump her every chance he got even if it wasn't completely true. At first she teased him relentlessly but eventually it calmed down, eventually.

"San is a fighter Britt, she'll get better I know it," Quinn said stroking Brittney's hand as the blonde shook her head.

"Sanny is my best friend but she lost her albatross," she said and before Quinn or even Finn could ask she sniffled and continued, "I learned in science that Albatrosses love only one other bird their entire lives, even when separated over great distances they come back to each other no matter what." Sam, having been in her class chuckled and when the girls looked over he rose.

"Remember the dance they do?" he asked as he spread his arms and trotted and moved in circles finally getting a laugh from Brittney and Quinn. "I could totally see Finn doing that for Santana. You remember that duet lesson we had in Glee a few weeks ago? I was jealous because he got paired with you Quinn but he pulled me aside and told me that it was fine, you were most like a sister to him, a hot step-sister since he never got to any base with you." Quinn nodded and giggled at that as well causing Finn to smile. "But more importantly he said that he was done, Santana was it for him and even if they broke up or she moved away they would find each other again." Their laughter continued as they spoke about more tales of how great Finn was. Seeing that they were happy Finn felt the shift again, hoping he was ready for the hospital he found himself inside of the auditorium instead. He was in the seats where the club would sit when someone would sing for everyone. A light came on and of course there was Rachel, they had remained good friends through it all however she wasn't sure that Santana was right for him but she didn't say anything as long as Finatana didn't get in the way of her solos and duets. The music swelled and Rachel began to sing, Evanescence's 'Bring Me to Life'. Listening intensely he recognized it and wondered who would sing the male role when suddenly Mr. Shue came out singing the other role in the duet. It ended with them sitting next to each other, Mr. Shue refusing to cry while he held Rachel like a father comforting his daughter. Coming up just below where the two were sitting on the edge of the stage Finn wished he could say something to them, instead of just thinking he just did.

"Thank you for being my second family, my strong-willed sister and the best father figure I would ever want to look up to. I love you both so much."

"He had so much love in him," Mr. Shue said and Rachel nodded in his chest.

"He always believed in all of us, told me that I was a star the brightest one but we were all stars as well. That it takes a lot of stars to make a beautiful night sky." Mr. Shue chuckled at that since it made a lot of sense and was something that Finn would have said.

"Do you regret anything?" Finn asked softly swearing he could see his former teacher ask that as well.

"No, I used to think I loved Finn as more than a friend but I think it would have distracted me, made me jealous and more overbearing than usual," Rachel said as Mr. Shue chuckled. With Finn and Santana as a solid couple the in school tensions between the teens came down. The most complicated dating pairs were Puck with Rachel and sometimes Quinn and Brittney and Mike who got together after their respective partners broke up with them and got together with each other. As long as she wasn't in that bit of drama she was okay with everything. After a little while they rose and walked backstage, Finn tried to follow him but felt that odd feeling of losing his balance and falling backwards and sure enough with his eyes open the world tilted with him falling into the darkness.

Opening his eyes this time he was outside near a lake where ducks were swimming around quacking. Attempting to skip a rock Finn was a little startled when the rock went through his fingers. Suddenly he felt something, annoyance, he remember that he was with Santana and that she was dying right now so why couldn't he be with her, go to her and tell her that he was okay, that she could be okay too.

"Okay as in okay to survive or okay to let go?" came a voice behind him causing him to jump and spin around and see, Dave Karofsky.

"Karofsky, what are you doing here?" Finn asked not how you can hear or see me because he knew that earlier in the year Dave had been ousted at his new school for being gay and committed suicide.

"Well seems like you can't go up when you off yourself so I went down and wasn't allowed there either. I was told my own personal hell would be surrounded by people I used to know and loved grow old and die without being able to talk to anyone." Finn nodded, he had only been here for a little while, maybe a day or two at most while Karofsky died months ago. "But seriously, if you saw Santana right now would you tell her to fight to live or to die and come with you?"

"It sounds so selfish when you say it like that," Finn said looking away from his former classmate and teammate. Dave nodded and looked pass him.

"Look at that Dude," he said causing Finn to turn and see a pair of birds sitting with each other, "Those are love birds, as their name suggests they mate for life. If one dies the other on ceases to care and will eventually follow as well. Some people are just meant to be together; without you do you think Santana will have a happy life?" Finn thought hard about that, remembering how rough it was in the beginning, she didn't want to change her persona to other people so at school she was standoffish only letting him sit next to her as long as there was room for Brittney on the other side. It had taken their first real fight for her to finally admit how scared she was, scared that if people saw the real her they would abandon her. Finn had promised he would never leave her but now he had done just that.

"She's strong, she'd survive," he said truthfully.

"Yeah but will she be happy?" Thinking about it Finn swore he could hear somebody singing 'Rainbow Connection' nearby. Following his ears and leaving Dave behind he walked along the side of the lake towards a clearing where three people were sitting. Coming closer he saw Artie, Tina and Mike sitting together in a small circle. Artie was the one singing while playing on an acoustic guitar; Tina was crying softly while Mike had tears in his eyes and tossed bread to some ducks. When he was done he set the guitar aside and pulling himself out of the chair Artie went to Tina and stroked her hair as she cried into him. There was a chirp as Mike pulled out his phone and read the message.

"Santana is out of surgery but they won't know if they acted in time for a few days." Mike reported and Tina sniffled and pulled away from her boyfriend.

"Thank you Mike, Santana could be mean at times but I'm praying she'll be okay." Tina said and the boys nodded.

"It was Finn who balanced her out," Artie said chocking up when he realized he spoke about Finn in the past tense.

"I'm thinking that if she pulls through I should end it with Brittney, you remember they were close before they started dating Finn and me," Mike said to which Artie, Tina and Finn said no adamantly to.

"Mike you and Britt are amazing together, like swans or something," Artie exclaimed.

"Yeah we just need to remain close friends with her," Tina said as Mike nodded.

"You need to be family," Finn said and Artie sighed.

"We're more than friends, we're a family and family sticks together," Artie said reaching for his guitar and starting to play again. Smiling at them he heard what sounded like a doctor calling over a PA system. Turning he pushed through the brush and trees finding himself in a hospital. Thinking that he would finally see her he started down a hall, pausing when he saw Mercedes trying to calm a clearly intoxicated Puck down. Not only was Puck drunk but he had gauze around his head and on his right hand, his left hand was handcuffed to the chair.

"I know you're angry at the world but you can't keep doing stupid stuff like that Puck."

"He slush-d yous," Puck slurred softly, "No one hurts my family."

"I agree but you beat that guy to a pulp, he got in a few good shots as well but still it was enough to get you arrested."

"Few hours in the Dry Tank." Puck said with a wave of his hand which wasn't much since it was locked down.

"Yeah, if he doesn't press charges and you're under aged," she reminded him which brought him back a moment.

"I miss him so much Mercedes and I remember how he would defend everyone and when that guy assaulted you I kept seeing that asshole driver's face. He walked away with a broken arm and we lost Finn, maybe even Santana. Damnit I lost a brother and a sister," he said crying and punching the empty chair next to him while Mercedes hugged him fiercely.

"You're doing it wrong, Finn would have kicked the chair," she said while caused them both to chuckle remembering their friend.

"Code blue, we have a patient that's crashing!" a doctor called sticking his head out from the door calling others to him. Rushing to him, through the other doctors Finn froze seeing the love of his life laying there. There were several machines around her, one beeping loudly as the doctors started to open her gown to apply the shock paddles. There was a tube down her throat; she wasn't able to breathe on her own. Coming along the side of her he saw Kurt standing against the wall tears still fresh on his face biting back the sobs as he watched. Somehow Finn knew that Kurt felt like he had to be here, that he couldn't stay by Finn's side so he would stand by the girl who over the time that she was with Finn grew as close as a sister to him. Kurt had been her guide to Finn when it came to reading moods and tones that Finn had so that she knew when he was sad even though he acted happy, eventually the roles were reversed. Walking over to Kurt he stood close to him and whispered.

"You're the best brother I could have ever wished for, I'm sorry that it ended so soon and I wish we could have met sooner, been real brothers so I had that many more years understanding you. I love you Kurt." With that Kurt's tears couldn't be stopped as he sunk into a chair and that's when Finn noticed Blaine, lovingly holding him. "Take care of him for me," Finn said turning to where Santana lay. Standing right by her head he knew she could hear him no matter where he stood. "Santana Marie Lopez, I love you so much that when I was first sent down here I knew that I wanted your suffering to end but it was selfish as well. I missed you and didn't want to be alone. I thought I knew loneliness before I met you on nights when everyone was out and my mind wandered to my father. The feeling that I couldn't even understand when he hugged me for the last time hurt so much. You became someone that took my mind off everything bad in my life, not in a way where I need you to come back with me because I don't. I don't need you Santana, but I do want you, I don't need to rely on you anymore but I never want to be apart. If you want to live I understand, I waited since middle school to have enough courage to ask you out I can be patient. I can't ask you to die for me that's your choice but I can tell you that I love you, I will always love you."

"Charge it to two hundred!" the doctor called out as there was a zap but the machine continued to flat line. "Two fifty!" he called again as the paddles charged up. As Finn stood there he felt a smaller hand rest on top of his. "Three hundred!" Looking up he saw her smiling softly at him.

"Thank you," he said softly and she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him.

"I love you Finndiot," she said while she kissed him, "You're my albatross."


End file.
